There's also another plus I see in resuming posting on this page. Let me explain. Ever since I was young, I have always loved writing. I would make books out of paper that I stapled together and write a story, usually about a wonderful girl named Sarah and her fun adventures. I'd complete the book with illustrations and sometimes I'd even put it on my mom's bookshelf in our family room so that everyone would have access to it to read it.
This interest of mine did not die out with age. In high school one of my teachers assigned all the students in our class to write a short story and told us that if we submitted it to Pegasus (our school's literary magazine) that she would give us extra credit. One rule I always stood by in high school was that you never say no to extra credit. I wasn't expecting anything to happen with my submission, but I was just excited to get an extra 10 points or so on my grade. To my surprise, I received information that my submission had been selected for publication. I was flattered and so ecstatic. Although it was a measly high school literary magazine that gave my story recognition, it was still recognition. And it made me feel special.
My hobby of writing has continued on through the years as I've written stories in my journal during sacrament meeting, filled almost 2 journals per year with thoughts, experiences, stories etc., and participated in classes that have allowed me to exercise that ability. I've always enjoyed writing but up until about a year ago, the possibility of making it into a profession never really crossed my mind.
As some of you may know, I spent last winter semester studying abroad in the Middle East. I spent most of my time in Jerusalem, but also visited Galilee, Jordan, and Turkey. I kept a blog while there (which you can visit by clicking here) and after reading it my mom expressed to me the joy she found in reading my writing and suggested that maybe I should look into making writing my study of focus in college. The wheels in my head started turning. In my eyes, my mom had just given me permission to have that dream and desire, that I had never before really considered.
An interesting things dreams are... I envy people who know what they want and go out and get it. Me on the other hand, even if I do know what I want (which is rare) I often assume that it's "out-of-my-league" or "too-good-to-be-true". I don't consider the possibilities, even when they are there. I also seem to doubt my ability or worthiness to achieve those dreams and label myself as inadequate. My mother's comment of encouragement gave me the confidence I needed to push that side dream closer to the center of my mind.
I considered the possibility of going into writing and looked into different majors that would allow me to do that. English looked dreadful, creative writing doesn't exist, but finally, I discovered Journalism. I began to get excited and even registered to take all the pre-requisite classes for the program in the fall but again, alas... Fear crept into my mind. I think that people sometimes feel, for whatever reason, unworthy to achieve their dreams. It's not always the fear of failure that keeps us from perusing our goals, it's often the fear of success. This reminds me of the quote in the movie Akeelah and the Bee...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
~Marianne Williamson
How true that statement is. Too often we cut ourselves short of the amazing potential we each have. We are our own worst critics and often our own worst bullies and enemies when it comes to matters of achieving our dreams. If you haven't already, I encourage you to read the book called The Alchemist. It talks a lot about this type of thing. It was amazing in how it changed the way I think about many things.
Anyway, I un-enrolled from all the pre-communications classes (the Journalism program is a communications major with an emphasis in Journalism) and decided to pursue Elementary Education, it was safer. The beginning of fall semester I began the application process for the program and I just didn't feel at peace about it. I talked with some of my friends who were former El Ed majors and who had switched to Human development. I decided to do the same. I enjoyed it for the duration of the semester and decided to add a communications minor and thereby (hopefully) satisfying my crave to be engaged and involved in writing.
I took my first communications class this semester for my minor and that is what got me thinking about writing again. I really enjoyed the class and slowly started to realize that writing really was what I wanted to do. I went to talk to a councilor about switching my major, and she informed me that if I were to do that, it would likely add two whole years onto my education. That didn't sound good to me. I came out of my meeting with her incredibly discouraged and deflated. She suggested that I go see a professor on the admissions board for the journalism program. I thought about not meeting with him because if it was going to take me that long, then what was the point right? I might as well have just continued on in the same area of study.
However, I decided to go talk to him because why not? The councilor I first met with said that maybe I should just finish what I was doing for my bachelors then look into a graduate degree in Journalism if I was going to be in school that long anyway. When I went to talk to the admissions professor, he talked with me about why I want to do Journalism, what I hope to do with it, different things that will help me to succeed etc. He went through all the classes I'd have to take with me and helped me to map out my education up until graduation. He helped me figure out that it wouldn't take as long as the other woman had told me and informed me that a graduate degree doesn't really make that much of a difference in the journalism field. He gave me some more advice and I walked out of that meeting beaming. Rather than showing me all the reasons "Why not" he helped me to figure out "How" to accomplish what I really wanted to do.
So, what I'm getting at is that I am now a pre-communications major and I plan to emphasize in Journalism. Once I made my decision I felt so happy and excited about where my future is headed. I was finally able to push through all the "Why nots" and start using the "Whys" to drive me toward finding the "Hows".
Seeing as writing is what I'll be doing for a career, I thought I'd get a little practice in by being more up to date on this blog. I know it's kind of boring stuff, but practice makes perfect right?
(Sorry for the monster of a post, I plan to condense my writing in the future. If you made it through this whole thing I'm impressed and honored. Thank you for taking the time to read my work!)
Until next time...
Love. You.
ReplyDeleteYou da best Ash! Love you forever!
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